Today’s post will be a bit different, a bit about inner beauty. All holistic teachers and healers agree that whenever your body struggles or gets ill you have look at the mind-body-spirit connection. And most importantly, do not let your illness, fatigue or pain dampen your spirit which is always pure and full of light.
I have been struggling with a chronic pain for about 2 years now. Somehow I managed to damage a sensory nerve in my left leg leaving me in a long lasting misery. Pain has become my every day companion, sometimes very severe, sometimes gentle yet still persisting. In my darkest hour I just wanted to disappear. My natural escapism was playing games with my mind. I wanted to be a mermaid with no legs just not to feel the pain. The worse damage however was to my mind, I believe I reached the edge of depression. Not sure if my partner understood, I guess his natural escapism also played in and he immersed himself in a virtual world. He couldn’t stand me being grumpy but I just suffered. This issue between us is still unresolved. We need to face the music and get the answers out. He had words of sympathy and encouragement but got tired in the process. I try to understand him, because yes, I was exhausted, tired, miserable, so at some point I felt like he turned his back on me, he simply gave up. Can I blame him? Yes. And no. I’m very patient towards people I love and probably a bit naive and unrealistic as well. I’m an idealist deep in heart and want to believe in others’ good motifs. Venus in Pisces in my astro chart gives me an idealistic streak but not realist.
I also believe strongly in mind and body unison. I have started reading about mindfulness and meditation. I never quite cracked the meditation but I try to open my mind. I’m learning that your thoughts can volume an amplitude of pain. You need to then stay in control and not let the fear take over you.
As we are heading towards New Moon, it is an auspicious time to look again at our goals and set the intention. Be visionary and have guts to follow your dream. Be bold. Reach out.
What is your deepest dream?